All dressed up…for groceries?

Rocking the beaded jewelry I made.

Rocking the beaded jewelry I made…and a new scrape on my knuckle because I’m a klutz…

I went out last night. It wasn’t exactly a hot date with myself, just out to get groceries, but I decided to “glam” myself up a bit for the heck of it. Glamming up for me is putting in contacts (usually I’m wearing my librarian glasses), curling my hair, putting on some lipstick and accenting my lashes with clear mascara. I will occasionally put eye shadow and blush on too as part of this glam process but I hate foundation because it always feels like paint and it hides my adorable freckles. Most of the time I don’t wear any kind of makeup and I’m happiest that way. My future guy will never have to worry that I’ll look scary “without my face on” because my face is usually natural, bare, and beautiful 😉

I haven’t curled my hair in several months but I managed not to burn myself with the curling iron, which is always an impressive feat! One side of my hair always takes the curl better than the other side but overall I was pleased with how it came out. I then donned a black headband to keep a majority of my hair out of my face and off my neck a bit. I put on my blue peasant blouse top and my favorite pair of jeans. Last night was the first time I’ve worn jeans since spring and I was quite happy that they were comfy and properly accented my assets. I have to wear a belt with today’s jeans because they refuse to stay up properly even though I have curves in all the right places. I also have to cut 3-4 inches off the cuffs jeans because I’m apparently too short for today’s fashions. Since when is 5’5″ short?!

After closing Jazz safely in her crate with her peanut butter filled Kong, I donned my black flats and headed out. It actually felt really good to be dressed up to go out. Practice for future dates perhaps. I wasn’t expecting to find my future guy at the grocery store. I go to the grocery store all the time and have yet to see anyone who strikes my fancy. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with looking good for myself and being confident in my beauty, as I’m sure my fellow single ladies understand.

I’d promised to treat myself to some Chinese food and sushi if I got my work done that day and as I had, I headed to the grocery store food court as soon as I arrived. Their versions of that food aren’t the greatest, but they’re the safest option I’ve found around where I live. I grabbed some spicy salmon sushi and loaded up on a variety of Chinese and Indian selections from the food stations. I ended up with enough food to last me through several meals, which is fine because I like to plan meals ahead.

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Enough food for the week!

Finding a small table by the windows, I sat down and began sampling my choices. Some of them were a bit spicier than I expected and the sushi fell a bit flat but overall, I was content. After eating perhaps 1/4 of the food I had, I tucked the containers into my cart and headed out into the rest of the store to get the few groceries on my list.

Friday night tends to be busy at grocery stores and the aisles were full of couples and families filling their carts. As usual, I was dismayed by how grumpy so many couples and families seem to be together. They don’t seem to appreciate how lucky and blessed they are. I do understand that grocery shopping is an unpleasant chore for people, but honestly, every single moment counts and life it too unpredictable to waste being unhappy. I was happy with myself for going out, glamming up, and grabbing the grocery cart of life with both hands.

So exhausting being me ;)

So exhausting being me 😉

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Date yourself!

When dating oneself, one can eat an entire dessert!

When dating oneself, one can eat an entire dessert!

It’s Friday night and I have a hot date lined up…with myself! While some of you reading this might be going “Awww, that’s so sad!” I assure you that it isn’t sad. Dating myself is one of the smartest things I’ve ever done and I highly recommend it!

I’m not actually going anywhere tonight and my “hot date” consists of college and freelance work followed by some beading and then dinner of leftovers and homemade wine. I’ll probably watch one of my favorite Marvel superhero movies like The Avengers, Iron Man (all three are good with me!) Thor (again both good!) or maybe an X-Men flick. I just watched Captain America 2 earlier this week, but otherwise it would be on the list. Again, I can hear some readers muttering things like “That’s kind of pathetic.” But honestly, it’s not.

What IS pathetic is someone settling for someone else who doesn’t actually deserve them because they’re terrified of being alone. Seriously, people, that’s no way to live! I admit that it took me a couple years to become truly comfortable with being alone, but for the most part, I finally am. I think it’s vital that a person be comfortable alone before they even consider sharing themselves with someone else. If you’re not okay on your own then you just end up clinging to the other person and that creates all sorts of relationship issues and the dreaded use of the word “needy!”

My apparently formerly “needy” nature was what ultimately led to me dating myself. It happened almost by accident. I’d been texting with a guy I met on Plenty of Fish and we’d decided to meet up and see the newest Marvel superhero movie. Right after we decided that, he stopped texting me and I never heard from him again. Nonetheless, I decided to put my “big girl panties” on along with a nice summer dress and head out to the movie solo. I’d foolishly hoped he’d still show up, but he didn’t and I’ll never know why. I can only assume I was overly enthusiastic about the date, that translated to the dreaded “needy” and he was scared off. Regardless, that was the first time I was stood up and the first time I saw a movie on my own. Both were life-changing experiences!

Before I go any further, I will admit that yes, I’ve been on just about every online dating site there is. I’ve been on OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Zoosk, Fitness Singles, Match, and even E-Harmony. I have plenty to say about my experiences with online dating websites but I’ll save that for a future post entitled “Online dating turned me into a bitter old hag!” or something along those lines 😉

Moving on! Being stood up was actually the best thing that ever happened to me because I discovered that hey, it’s pretty awesome going to movies alone! I can sit wherever I want, however I want, laugh loudly at the funny parts, cry at the sad parts, and most importantly, accidentally drop popcorn down my shirt and fetch it without some guy next to me thinking I’m coming on to him. During Marvel superhero movies, I’ve been known to giggle, fidget, hoot, clap, guffaw and yes, snort! Now that I’ve admitted I do all that, it’s possible that a man will never ask me out again, but that’s his loss, not mine.

From seeing movies alone I progressed to going to dinner alone and all that led to me eventually feeling more content when I took my trips to New England alone. I’ve had people tell me that I’m brave for doing so much alone and that they could never do it, but honestly, if I can do it, anyone can.

I’m not saying that I believe that humans are meant to be solitary beings. I think we all deserve that special someone who understands who we are as an individual and who loves every quirk, twitch, and snort about us. What I am saying is that we should never settle for someone we know is wrong for us just to keep from being alone. Loving and knowing yourself is the most important thing you can do for any type of relationship. Dating yourself is important too because it means you can snarf an entire piece of chocolate cake for dessert at a restaurant and not worry what your date thinks, even when the server looks at you funny 😉

…Hear Me Roar

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My father always used to love to sing the words “I am woman, hear me roar!” somewhat off-key and in a joking way when my mother or I would do something particularly fierce. He did it in an amused and amusing way but I know he was impressed by the power of us Corbin women. You don’t mess with a Corbin woman, we’re a force to be reckoned with.

My force of reckoning was tested this evening as I battled issues with my shower yet again. The pressure to the shower head suddenly reduced to a trickle last night. While many people pay ridiculous amounts of money for waterfall or gentle rain showers, having to wash in what equated to a light sprinkle was time-consuming and frustrating. I was too tired to fight with it last night though so I saved it for this evening after my workout.

The mount for the old shower head had been stuck on the pipe since I moved into the house. I managed to swap out all but that one part with a new shower head. I’d tried wrenches, pleading, grumbling and pouting but that darn thing wouldn’t come off. Well tonight I’d had enough. I could tell the reduced water pressure was being caused by that one part and I was determined to get it off. When I’m determined to do something, best step aside.

With some ingenuity involving tweezers that now bend the wrong direction, I was able to FINALLY loosen that mount enough to remove it! I was so ecstatic, I gave out a triumphant whoop and almost did an end zone dance in my bathroom! I was able to reassemble everything with my newer shower head and ta-da! The water pressure issue was resolved and I had a lovely, full strength shower that washed away my workout “glistening.”

It’s incredibly empowering for me when I accomplish tasks that some more “delicate” women think they need a man for or hire a plumber to deal with. I’ve learned over the years that if you want something done right, you do it yourself!

I’m a unique creature and have barely touched upon the strength I possess. There’s only one me but I wish more women were like me. Willing to embrace their own power, their own abilities, not forever looking for a man to “rescue” them and do all the “hard” work. By always relying on someone else to be their strength, they never realize their own potential, they never see the greatness within themselves. They never give themselves a chance to truly share that greatness with someone else while still being a whole and complete person.

The road I’ve chosen to walk as a single woman, single mother isn’t for everyone. It takes a mixture of faith, luck, stubbornness, tenacity, determination and rebellion. It’s a bold and often misunderstood move to stand up and say that no, I’m not just giving myself over to someone. I deserve someone who will fight for me, all of me, not just the parts they like. Someone who understands that standing on equal footing is the only way to move forward together…well, if he can keep up with me that is…

Redefining the Single Woman

As someone familiar with online dating sites, I’ve gotten the impression that there are certain assumptions about single women, especially those on online dating sites. There seems to be the assumption that they must be desperate, picky, looking for sex, only attractive in still photos…or all of the above.

I have been rather surprised to discover that single men my age want a woman my age (though usually younger) who doesn’t have kids. I don’t really know how many women my age don’t have children. I only know my circumstances. I get that a lot of men aren’t into the idea of “the whole package” that already includes kids. Their profile says they “want kids someday” but apparently, those kids have to be genetically there’s in order to fit the bill. They’re entitled to their preferences just as I’m entitled to mine.

I do wonder though, does anyone really understand how many dimensions there are to today’s “single woman”? There are so many reasons why a woman is still single and I assure you, there’s nothing wrong or broken about being a single woman. A woman might be single because:

She’s so busy with her career she knows it would be unfair to attempt any sort of romantic relationship.

She suffers from unrequited love and chooses being alone over trying to find someone else she knows she’ll never love.

She endured an unhappy marriage and has no desire to venture down that road again.

She prefers the company of her pets because they don’t mind that she hangs out in yoga pants even when not doing yoga.

She loves the feel of having a bed all to herself.

She doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone else for why she does what she does.

The idea of being ignored on “game day” really doesn’t appeal.

She has children and she doesn’t want to introduce them to men who won’t stick around.

She’s never actually tried “the bar scene” and has absolutely no desire to.

She’s waiting for the tragic…er romantic comedy that is her life to have its happy ending.

She figures if playing “hard to get” is the way to win a guy then playing “impossible to get” should lure the entire male population.

She likes never worrying that she’ll fall into the toilet in the middle of the night because the seat is up.

Men are too blind to see what an amazing creature she is and how deserving she is of love.

There was no real rhyme or reason to any of that. Just the musings of a single woman with a talent for observing the world around her. Agree or disagree, call the reasons bitter, cliché, stereotypical or outright ridiculous but I bet they ring true for some other single gals out there. I will tell you this though; today’s single chick is one tough cookie that comes from her own unique and beautiful recipe.