Unexpected Answers

hawk cloud

Soaring hawk cloud in the sky

I don’t ask for signs every day, but I ask for them quite often, especially when I’m struggling with something. Sometimes I receive signs without even asking. For example: last summer (at least I think it was last summer) I was having a bit of a rough day and doubting my self-worth. It was a day I was going to mow so I opened the shed doors, but was too distracted by my thoughts to hook them open. Amid my negative thoughts, the breeze picked up just enough to move the door so it whacked me upside the head. I remember laughing because I realized that it was my father and the universe telling me to snap out of it!

I had a similar experience another time when I was distracted by thoughts of self-doubt as I mowed the lawn. I was going by the shed and one of the many pinecones that fall from the tree there bounced off the shed front and bonked me in the head. Again, I laughed and shook my head at myself as the universe reminded me that I was being silly and that I was worth so much more than I believe sometimes.

Yesterday, I was worried about something and so I asked for a sign to help abolish my worry. I like to keep my options open sometimes so I asked to see a monarch, hawk or heron (three of my spirit guides) and if I did, that would reassure me that I was right in believing in the situation I was currently having doubts about. Alas, I didn’t see any of those three things on the way to or from my mother’s yesterday and my doubts closed in. Even so, I still wanted to believe and so I tried convincing myself that I’d just missed the sign. Nevertheless, one doesn’t miss signs, either I see them or I don’t.

Still filled with uncertainty, I came home and started getting the girls ready for bed. When I returned to the living room I realized that the sky outside seemed an odd pinkish color so I decided to walk out onto the deck. The sky was ablaze with the colors of sunset and I smiled at the clouds swirling across the horizon. As I looked up at the clouds, I realized that one of them strongly resembled a hawk in flight. I smiled as I realized that the universe was giving me my answer, just not in the way I had expected. Sometimes the universe knows that if they don’t show me something in a way that resembles a bright, blinking neon sign, I might miss it. Yesterday was apparently one of those times.

I know that I should just let go of my worries and believe, but I’m not perfect and it’s an ongoing challenge for me. I spent so much of my life feeling secure and confident in so many things that eventually slipped through my grasp that my faith and trust waivers. Yet I always believe in my signs and I know they’ll continue to reveal themselves to me as I continue on the journey to believing in the element of my life I so often ask them about.

Advertisements

Belief and Bald Eagles

bald eagle in field

Bald eagle in the field behind my house today.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I’m a huge believer in signs and I actively look for them every single day. Sometimes they appear when I’m not looking and sometimes they happen at exactly the right moment to lift my spirit. Today was an example of the latter.

Quite often I ask to see some sign in particular as an indication that a particular wish will come true, that I’m on the right path, or that someone I’m thinking of is thinking of me too. Several months ago I asked for a very specific sign to show me that something would happen within a year’s time of when I asked for that sign. The sign I requested was very big because the wish I had was just as big. I figured if the powers that be saw fit to send me that sign, then I couldn’t doubt anymore and I’d have to put all my belief in that wish coming true. The sign I asked for was to see a bald eagle.

While driving home from New England after my last trip in October, I saw a bald eagle sitting in a tree. Or at least I think it was a bald eagle. I glimpsed it so quickly that I wasn’t exactly sure. Well, today the powers that be saw fit to erase any doubts from my mind.

This afternoon I was looking out my kitchen window toward the large farmer’s field behind my yard and much to my bewilderment a bald eagle swooped down and landed in the field. I’m quite sure my mouth dropped open to the floor and I completely forgot the issues I’d been dealing with in that moment. I stared in disbelief and the bald eagle sat there with his back to me and his head turning periodically to survey his surroundings.

bald eagle sitting in field

bald eagle in New York State

sitting bald eagle

I quickly grabbed my Canon PowerShot camera and took a couple of pictures through the kitchen window. They were blurry due to the screen so I decided to try going out onto my deck to take some pictures. I crept as quietly as I could out my deck door and stepped lightly across the deck to the railing. The bald eagle remained where he was with his back to me, though I’m quite sure his gaze turned in my direction. Despite the high winds, I held the camera steady enough to take several pictures. Unfortunately, the zoom on my camera isn’t strong enough to get good detail at that distance. Hoping to get better pictures, I went back inside, loaded film in my dad’s old Olympus OM-1 camera, put the longer lens on and crept back outside. Looking through the viewfinder on that camera I was better able to see the details on the bald eagle and I took a few pictures. I won’t know if they came out until I have the roll developed who knows when, but I’m hoping I got at least one good one.

Curious to see how close the bald eagle would allow me to get, I put my shoes on, grabbed my Canon again and walked slowly out into my back yard. I paused to take more pictures as I walked and I made it as far as my back pine tree before the bald eagle decided that was close enough and took flight. He flew across the field and disappeared into the trees and I was awestruck by the enormity of his wingspan and the palpable power of his spirit.

bald eagle in flight

bald eagle flying

As I walked back toward the house I was smiling in pure joy and just thinking about the entire experience still makes me smile. It’s no small thing to see such a beautiful creature in such an unusual location. Though I live near a lake, it’s miles away and there isn’t any water with fish very close. To have a bald eagle plunk himself down in my back field was a sign bigger than any neon billboard. I feel truly blessed by his visit and it was the universe’s way of reminding me of the strength of belief and bald eagles.

Guides along the path

Red-tailed hawk. Image courtesy of National Geographic

If you’ve been loyally reading every blog post I’ve written here then you know that I’m a huge believer in signs. I don’t just mean road signs, though those have come in very handy when I’ve become lost in New England. The signs that I pay the most attention to are of a more divine nature.

Coexisting with my belief in signs is my belief in spirit guardians. Quite often in fact, the signs I see come from the animals around me. Butterflies are a sign of hope and remind me that my father and other loved ones who have passed are always near. When I see a fox, I consider it good luck. Hearing an owl in the woods at night is reassurance from the spirits that they’re with me even in darkness. Seeing a hawk means that I am on the right path and to continue on in the direction I’ve chosen.

I lost track of how many hawks I saw perched in trees, atop poles and flying through the sky on my last drive to New England. I felt that they were not only guiding me but also showing the approval of higher powers as I pursue my dreams. There are always signs and guides along the path, if you’re willing to open your mind, heart and eyes to see them.