My oldest daughter went through the house last night flipping all the calendars to October because I hadn’t yet. I’m still trying to adjust to the fact that October is here already. September went by very fast and while it started out fall-like, there was a lot of summer heat in the middle and end of the month that made everything seasonally confusing. The poor trees that had started to change colors during the first bout of cool weather didn’t know what to do once summer heat returned. A lot of them just seemed to give up and start dropping leaves without much color change and I fear it won’t be a very colorful autumn this year. Nonetheless, leaves are still changing and falling and autumn is tied for spring with my favorite season.
As I wrote in last year’s blog post at the start of October, I’m finally able to welcome October again. Losing my father in October of 2009 made it difficult for me to truly embrace what had until that point been my favorite month and season. On the 21st of this month it will have been eight years since his passing and that doesn’t even seem possible to me. While I still miss him every single day and there will always be a void inside me without him here, I’ve healed enough to understand that his spirit wants me to be happy. I’m sure there will be the usual random bouts of crying and sadness throughout the month, but I know it won’t be as overwhelming as it’s been in the past. Life is about moving forward and not allowing yourself to be stuck in a moment that can’t be changed.
I don’t know what this October will bring, but I’m looking forward to it. I never really know what each day will bring. I have a plan for the day and most of the time it follows a predictable routine. But honestly, every single day is full of amazing new experiences and gifts and I make sure I take the time to notice them and feel grateful for them. I’m sure October will be full of new adventures and of course my favorite holiday of Halloween. Maybe I’ll make it to a Halloween party of some type this year, one never knows! Whatever comes this October and beyond, I know that I’ll get through it just like I always do, with strength, determination, optimism, and hope.
A lone oak tree holding its leaves among bare walnut trees.
One of the ways I stay focused on the positive aspects of my life is by keeping journals. My “journals” are actually text entries on my little sticky note app but they work fine for me. I created the journals in August of this year to better track all the good things in my life. I know I have many blessings but some days are harder than others and it’s easy to lose sight of the good stuff.
I have two journals I update daily. In my “Positivity Journal” I jot down all the positive things that happened during the day. In my “Signs and Omens Journal” I keep a record of all the signs and omens I’ve seen throughout the day. I wasn’t aware of all the signs I receive daily until I started tracking them! Even on my toughest days, there are always numerous things to write in my positivity journal. It’s just a matter of shifting my focus to truly counting my blessings and not dwelling in the shadows.
An example of things I write in my Positivity Journal range from little triumphs like walking Jazzmin and working on beading projects to bigger accomplishments such as receiving a high grade on a college assignment or landing a new writing client who pays well. I write down important things like “The girls are both healthy” and “It was a beautiful day” in that journal too. I can be in the midst of tears over something or other, but the moment I shift my thoughts and start entering things in that positivity journal, I feel much better!
I look for signs and omens because they indicate to me that I’m on the right path and that my father, my spirit guardians, and all the powers that be are still looking out for me. Sometimes I ask for specific signs and sometimes I just look for my favorite positive omens of seeing a hawk or butterfly. I’ve been making mental notes of the signs I see for a long time but I had no idea how numerous they were until I started that journal. The powers that be always send me signs and omens at the right time and I’ve learned to trust in their guidance.
Today was a beautiful day full of blessings and on my walk with Jazzmin I saw three hawks and a monarch butterfly. The monarch was especially surprising because I haven’t seen one in days and thought they had all flown south. I also saw a robin this evening and was happy to realize that they haven’t all left yet. There truly is so much beauty, blessings, and wonder in every single day! If you’re having trouble seeing that, I highly suggest you start keeping journals. 🙂
Took this picture with my phone and zoomed in. Trust me, there's a monarch in it.
The weather finally cooled off and became less humid enough to mow today. As I mowed this afternoon I was treated to the sight of monarch butterflies. I’m always so happy when the monarchs start appearing! They’re symbolic of transformation for me and carry messages from my father and other family spirits.
I love all types of butterflies and smile whenever one flies by me. I even bring my mower to a complete stop if there’s one perched on a flower in front of me. The roar of the mower is enough to make them fly away and I continue on my course. Seeing two butterflies flying together is a powerfully positive sign and never to be ignored.
When I was done mowing, I took Jazzmin for a walk in the lovely evening air. Shortly after we set out, a monarch butterfly appeared flying in the direction we were walking. He paused on a plant by the side of the road and I snapped the picture at the top of this post before an oncoming car scared him away.
Jazz and I had a great walk in the sunshine with the pleasant breeze and she was all happy, panting smiles on our way home. As we neared my driveway, another monarch fluttered by us and I paused to watch him as he disappeared further up the road. Wearing a wide, happy smile, I continued toward home and started looking forward to the many wonderful promises awaiting me on monarch wings.