What believing feels like sometimes

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Finishing up school work made it a late night for me (yes, 10pm is late because I usually go to bed at 9pm, don’t judge lol) so tonight’s post is another short, but inspirational pin.

I saw the above picture today on social media and it rang true for me because sometimes believing in something is ridiculously difficult. Yet I still have faith that I can achieve whatever I put my mind to and believe in strongly enough just as I’m certain that butterfly can lift that rock if she just keeps trying!

Interpreting signs

Blue dragonfly near where I sat at today's Pow-Wow

Blue dragonfly near where I sat at today’s Pow-Wow

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you know that I’m a big believer in signs. If you’re new to reading my blog…well now you know that I believe in signs πŸ˜‰ I always look and ask for positive signs and I do my best to not believe in bad omens. I honestly feel that when you put positive energy out there, positive energy returns! The same applies to negative energy which is why I try so hard to see the bright side of situations.

I consider myself fortunate that the powers that be quite often send me exactly the sign I ask for. Sometimes I’m quite specific in my sign requests and when those are answered on-point I’m sure that’s my dad’s spirit flexing his afterlife muscle to help and reassure his little girl. There have been times when I don’t receive a specific sign and while I like to believe that it hasn’t happened yet or that I missed it, it’s entirely possible that I wasn’t meant to receive that sign because what I was looking for just can’t be accomplished. That can be rather hard for me to accept, especially when I wanted with all my heart to see that sign and be given hope for a particular outcome.

I think there have also been times when I interpret signs incorrectly. Translating signs isn’t an exact science after all and it wouldn’t be any fun if it was. But I do the best I can and continue to believe in positive outcomes. For me personally, it’s important to have faith in something. To be able to hold onto hope for a brighter future even at life’s lowest moments.

Today I saw several positive signs in the forms of dragonflies near where I sat, butterflies along my path and a hawk circling in the sky above the park.

Another dragonfly in the center of the circle.

Another dragonfly in the center of the circle.

Hawk circling above the park.

Hawk circling above the park.

I believe the hawk is one of my most powerful spirit guardians and animal totems as I see one almost every day. I even saw one circling in the sky of Boston! Seeing a hawk reminds me that I’m never alone and tells me that I’m on the right path. Watching a hawk means looking up and as I believe in always looking where you want to go, things will continue to soar upward!

The hawk I saw circling the skies in Boston.

The hawk I saw circling the skies in Boston.

Leading the Pack

My dog Jazzmin “Sundance” Corbin is an adorable and loving mutt, just like me. I adopted her from a local shelter in January 2012 and my life has never been the same. I wasn’t a strong leader or an alpha dog when I adopted her. I was lonely and wanted a dog to be my companion when my daughters were with their father. Jazz happily took on the role of mama caretaker and pack leader because she sensed weakness in me and thought she needed to be in control. I only know all that now that I’ve started reading Cesar’s Way and watching The Dog Whisperer on Netflix. I can now see everything I’ve done wrong with Jazz and I’m working diligently to fix things.

I should have started reading Cesar’s books last summer when my close friend recommended them. He’s had dogs for most of his life and knows far more about them than I do. I grew up with dogs but I was never solely responsible for one until I got Jazz. My friend has met Jazz and while she dragged me along when he and I walked, the moment he took the leash from me, she was a totally different dog. Calm, obedient, attentive and eager to do whatever he asked.

In truth she was still the same dog but the energy my friend emitted was far more in control and “calm assertive” than my usual tense, worried and uncertain energy. That day he showed me that Jazzmin could be the dog I wanted her to be. Did I run right out and get Cesar’s books that moment because he suggested them? No. Why? A mixture of stupidity and stubbornness I suppose. But that was then and this is now and as Jazzmin lives in the now, all she cares is that her mama is finally fulfilling her as a dog.

While watching The Dog Whisperer I see a lot of dogs with behavior issues similar to Jazz. What that really means is that their owners are emitting the wrong energy and those dogs have become the pack leaders. I’m working really hard on improving my energy. I can be an overly perky and optimistic person sometimes but I have trouble believing in my own strength. I need to focus my positive outlook on myself and stop doubting my abilities. Becoming Jazz’s pack leader is extremely beneficial for both of us. Having more confidence in myself and taking on the role of pack leader allows Jazz to relinquish the role she never really wanted. It also improves who I am as a person and how I function in every aspect of my life.

I’ve been working on asserting myself as the pack leader for almost two weeks now. I get up early on the mornings I have my girls and walk her around the yard and driveway for 20-30 minutes. When I don’t have the girls I take her for longer walks after work. Jazz and I have greatly improved on the walk. She’s not pulling all the time and she’s less distracted by every bird, leaf, stray breeze and particle of dust we walk by. We’re still working on how she reacts to other dogs but we’ve made great progress! Last night I walked the “Doggy Gauntlet” with her. The Doggy Gauntlet is how I describe purposely walking by houses where I know the dogs are allowed to run free and it also includes walking by a local kennel. I walked Jazz with a Gentle Leader and an Outward Hound backpack weighed down with a couple of water bottles. (The Beanie Baby cargo in the pictures was just to get her used to the backpack and to make my youngest daughter smile.)

How did our walk through the Doggy Gauntlet go? Well, we lived to tell the tale but that tale will have to wait until the next post. Stay tuned!