Saying I am Queen of the king size bed is all well and good but I thought I’d show it as well. I’ve worked hard for everything I have and endured my share of ups and downs but I am stronger because of it. I workout daily by walking my dog, playing Dance Central or doing P90x2 and while I am not a hardbody by any means, I am pleased with my shape. There is something to be said for a woman with curves and that something is that she is beautiful. I am beautiful. My beauty comes from within and my physical form is just the vessel for it. I have self-image issues just like every other woman in the world but most days I’m pretty content with how I look and who I am.
As a ghost writer, I blog daily about interior design and it keeps me so busy I don’t have the time to focus on my own interior design. I made time for it recently and purchased a new floral quilt for my bed and leaf print sheets to replace the dark red comforter and sheets I’ve used all winter. Though Spring has disappeared for the moment, I felt it necessary to create light and cheer in my bedroom. I so often write in my freelance blogs that the bedroom is a sanctuary and I truly believe that. I always find peace when I sit or lay upon my bed and when I close my eyes I am quickly lost in the dreams of my vivid imagination.
On weekend mornings my large bed is covered with open magazines and books as I research the topics I write about and scribble furiously in my spiral notebook. Those notes are later typed into an Excel spreadsheet as I create what I call my “interior design cheat sheet.” I am loving every moment of learning about interior design, decorating and architecture. My mind is a sponge and I’m trying to soak up as much knowledge as possible so it translates properly when I write. Printed books are amazing tools and digital media will never replace them in my world. Folding down pages and highlighting sentences is such a rewardingly tangible experience!
Perhaps what I do on my oversize bed is not as exciting as some people might have imagined but that doesn’t concern me. I am a responsible woman and my life might sound boring to some but to me it is fulfilling, gratifying and a true gift.
When I first moved out of my ex’s house and into an apartment I bought myself a king-sized memory foam mattress and frame. I’d never owned a bed that big so it was a treat for me; a little splurge to symbolize my new sense of power and strength. I initially believed that I’d someday have a man to share that bed with me so I slept on one side. Within a few months I was sleeping in the middle and loving every minute of it. Moving it into my house that summer was quite a wrestling match but I managed and it happily takes up most of my bedroom.
It bothers me that my mattress is called “king size” when I am the ruler of my space and it has become my Queendom. I suppose I could say I’m a female king but no, I am a Queen. I am a Queen of my own destiny, my own choices, my own happiness. I don’t require a man to help me rule over my realm and while not all women believe it, it’s possible to breathe and live without a man around 24/7. Am I a cold, unfeeling Queen who has given up on love? An Ice Queen? Far from it! I am a Fire Queen who believes strongly in the passion and power of love. I love fierce, deep, hot and with tenacity.
I do share my bed quite often…with my daughters. They love to play on my bed and we watch TV in my room together. My girls play games involving falling down (very safely) in dramatic poses and tickle each other and cause a ruckus. During such times I usually lay or sit on the edge of the bed, safe from sharp knees and elbows. Those moments are when I realize why I truly bought such a big bed. To share it with the ones I love.
Last night a rather large swath of thunderstorms crossed through the state. My oldest had fallen asleep an hour previous but my youngest was still awake because she’d needed a snack and is something of a night owl. When the lightning started flashing and the thunder rumbled I could see she was scared so I asked her if she wanted to sleep in my bed. Of course she did! In my bed she climbed and we snuggled together while she watched me play a few games on my Android phone. She kept asking me to check the radar map on my weather app so we’d pull up the image and see the big splotch of red and orange slowly moving eastward. Some of the rumbles were so strong they shook things hanging on my walls but I assured my daughter that we were safe and eventually she was sound asleep next to me. My sleep was very content last night.
That bed is my sanctuary, it’s where I go at the end of the day to relax and escape into dreams. Could I get by with a smaller bed? Sure and then I’d probably be able to walk around it on all sides. But a smaller bed isn’t me because a smaller life isn’t me. I live big and I love with all my heart. There is no other way to be for me.