Having the words but not the time

I planned on entering some sort of blog post every day this month, but that plan quickly unraveled as I found myself with insufficient time and energy to follow through. At the end of a day of work writing, I usually turn my computer off and have no desire to turn it back on. The words for personal blog posts and stories still rattle around in my head, but I just can’t face my computer screen after writing for work all day.

I tried posting some images from Pinterest just so I’d have something up every day, but that felt like a “cop out” to me and not enough to do my writing abilities justice. Re-blogging older posts felt like less of a failure, but even so I eventually had to admit defeat in my daily blog post quest.

Now that my girls are out of school, I have to rearrange my work schedule so I can get all my articles done without it interfering with my time with them. My girls are my world and they come first. I already regret not cherishing the time when they were babies enough, I refuse to look back with regret anymore wishing I’d spent more time with them.

If something existed that could type out the words in my head without me having to physically sit down at a keyboard then I’d be able to write stories every time I daydream. Alas, such a telepathic device doesn’t seem to exist yet and until it does, blog posts will continue to be intermittent. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my rambling, I greatly appreciate it! =)

Delight in butterflies

I saw several butterflies while mowing today including a monarch and a yellow swallowtail. Seeing butterflies always makes me smile, even when I’m riding around a bumpy yard on a tractor in the hot sun. Butterflies are such powerful creatures to me because they go through quite a transformation to gain their wings.

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New feathered residents

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Waxwing (Silkitoppa)-3-E by Sindri Skúlason via Pinterest

For the several days I’ve been seeing cedar waxwings in the trees of my front yard. I love the colors of these birds and how dedicated they are to eating berries so I was quite happy to discover that they’re moving into my property.

I don’t have any ripe berries at the moment, but the black raspberries will be plentiful soon and I’m sure the waxwings and I will be competing to pick them. I’m not worried though, I’m sure there will be enough for all of us and I certainly don’t mind giving up some sweet berries in exchange for some new feathered residents. =)

Nature’s Artwork

I haven’t had much time to paint artwork lately, but this post shows that nature always has time because it’s effortless.

Lidancie Arts

I am imperfect. Everyone is. Yet every day I see commercials advertising beauty products and fitness programs to help men and women achieve perfection. Chasing dreams is one thing, striving for the impossible is ridiculous.

I have a great appreciation for nature. Nature is beautiful without even trying. The blazing sunrise, the changing leaves, the churning clouds, the glow of sunset. Beautiful without trying to be perfect. Nature just is what it is and if you don’t stop to see that, you’re missing out.

This past Monday morning started out beautiful with a pink cast to the clouds as the sun made its journey to rise over the hills. The sun shone ever so briefly before the dark clouds of the rapidly approaching cold front blocked it out. That contrast of darkness and light was stunning to behold. Nature wasn’t trying to impress me by puffing up its chest or…

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When you know the song…

Reblogging a post from last year about my knowledge of bird songs. I still hear all these birds and more every day. 🙂

Lidancie Arts

One of my bluebirds on their favorite pine tree perch. One of my bluebirds on their favorite pine tree perch.

Growing up, I remembering marveling at how much my dad knew about life, the universe and everything. I couldn’t comprehend how he held all that knowledge in his head. While I don’t know the same information he did, I have my own library of knowledge in my head and it’s constantly expanding.

One of the mental encyclopedias I’m most fond and proud of is the one containing my ability to recognize a bird by the sound of their song. As long as I’ve seen the bird before and either heard it singing or listened to its song online, I can usually recognize it when I’m outside. When I know the song, I know the bird and it’s a musical reminder that I’m never alone.

Some days when I walk Jazzmin I hear a variety of songs, while other days I…

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Just a little clear up shower

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When my dad was alive and it would downpour like it has several times today, he was known to say “Oh, it’s just a little clear up shower.” He was being a little sarcastic of course, but now every time it rains cats and dogs, I recall those words and smile.

Today’s late afternoon rain did eventually let up and the sun came out, but by evening it was overcast and it started pouring after sunset. I’m not exactly sure what these “little” showers are clearing up, but I do know that they’re doing an effective job of overflowing local streams and runoff ditches. I had to drive through several road ponds on the way to pick up my daughters today and I was left wishing I had a boat instead of a car.

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It’s a rare thing lately to have more than one day in a row without some form of rain around here, but at least the sun comes back out eventually. When I took Jazzmin out for the last time tonight I saw a bat flying through the darkening sky and I’m sure he appreciates all the bugs that come out in the humidity. It’s always nice to see creatures benefiting from the unpredictable weather and it reminds me that the little clear up showers serve an important purpose in the circle of life.

Belief and Bald Eagles

This post was something I really needed to reread tonight so I decided to repost it too. Sometimes even the biggest signs don’t feel strong enough and that’s when it’s up to me to keep believing.

Lidancie Arts

bald eagle in field Bald eagle in the field behind my house today.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I’m a huge believer in signs and I actively look for them every single day. Sometimes they appear when I’m not looking and sometimes they happen at exactly the right moment to lift my spirit. Today was an example of the latter.

Quite often I ask to see some sign in particular as an indication that a particular wish will come true, that I’m on the right path, or that someone I’m thinking of is thinking of me too. Several months ago I asked for a very specific sign to show me that something would happen within a year’s time of when I asked for that sign. The sign I requested was very big because the wish I had was just as big. I figured if the powers that be saw fit to send…

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The best flowers…

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Today's bouquet of violas

The best flowers are those that pop up in unexpected places. Like the tulips that popped up last spring when I didn’t even know there were bulbs there. This year’s surprise flowers were the little purple violas that bloomed in one of my planters from last year.

I’ve discovered that violas and their larger counterparts known as pansies, are the best flowers for me because despite their seemingly delicate appearance, they’re actually quite resilient. I’d like to think that I’m a lot like them, but I don’t think anyone who knows me would call me a “delicate flower.” 😉 Resilient yes, delicate not so much.

Seeing those violas pop up this spring convinced me that I needed to plant more this year and that’s exactly what I did. The new violas are thriving in their pots and despite an animal digging a few out, they’re still quite lovely. What I find even more pleasing are the violas thriving outside the pots.

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Some of the violas that planted themselves in my yard.

Apparently some of the seeds from last year’s violas planted themselves in my yard by the bird oasis and now they’re popping up all around it! I pick them before I mow and I’m always surprised when more show up. I picked myself quite a little bouquet today and I’m going to try replanting the few with roots in the planters with the other violas.

Violas are such happy looking flowers. They always look like they’re smiling at me and that makes them some of the best and most beautiful flowers to me.

The Great Red Eft Rescue!

I’ve already seen some red spotted newts that attempted unsuccessfully to cross the road this year so it’s time I embark on another red eft rescue! This blog post from a couple years ago explains what I’m talking about. 😉

Lidancie Arts

Around this time last year while I was out walking Jazzmin, we came upon these small orange lizard-looking things. I’d never seen them before but I thought they were rather adorable. As I hate seeing creatures squished in the road, I helped the little guys (there were 3 total) across the road.

The 1st red eft I ever saw and saved

When I picked each of them up they stayed very still in my hand and even after I set them back down in the opposite shoulder of the road they acted frozen. My friend who knows more about such creatures than I do, explained that such behavior is common for something that’s prey. They remain still because predators don’t want to eat something that isn’t moving. They really shouldn’t worry, I have no intention of ever eating them.

The 2nd red eft... The 2nd red eft…

The 3rd and smallest red eft The 3rd and smallest red eft

After…

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Unexpected Answers

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Soaring hawk cloud in the sky

I don’t ask for signs every day, but I ask for them quite often, especially when I’m struggling with something. Sometimes I receive signs without even asking. For example: last summer (at least I think it was last summer) I was having a bit of a rough day and doubting my self-worth. It was a day I was going to mow so I opened the shed doors, but was too distracted by my thoughts to hook them open. Amid my negative thoughts, the breeze picked up just enough to move the door so it whacked me upside the head. I remember laughing because I realized that it was my father and the universe telling me to snap out of it!

I had a similar experience another time when I was distracted by thoughts of self-doubt as I mowed the lawn. I was going by the shed and one of the many pinecones that fall from the tree there bounced off the shed front and bonked me in the head. Again, I laughed and shook my head at myself as the universe reminded me that I was being silly and that I was worth so much more than I believe sometimes.

Yesterday, I was worried about something and so I asked for a sign to help abolish my worry. I like to keep my options open sometimes so I asked to see a monarch, hawk or heron (three of my spirit guides) and if I did, that would reassure me that I was right in believing in the situation I was currently having doubts about. Alas, I didn’t see any of those three things on the way to or from my mother’s yesterday and my doubts closed in. Even so, I still wanted to believe and so I tried convincing myself that I’d just missed the sign. Nevertheless, one doesn’t miss signs, either I see them or I don’t.

Still filled with uncertainty, I came home and started getting the girls ready for bed. When I returned to the living room I realized that the sky outside seemed an odd pinkish color so I decided to walk out onto the deck. The sky was ablaze with the colors of sunset and I smiled at the clouds swirling across the horizon. As I looked up at the clouds, I realized that one of them strongly resembled a hawk in flight. I smiled as I realized that the universe was giving me my answer, just not in the way I had expected. Sometimes the universe knows that if they don’t show me something in a way that resembles a bright, blinking neon sign, I might miss it. Yesterday was apparently one of those times.

I know that I should just let go of my worries and believe, but I’m not perfect and it’s an ongoing challenge for me. I spent so much of my life feeling secure and confident in so many things that eventually slipped through my grasp that my faith and trust waivers. Yet I always believe in my signs and I know they’ll continue to reveal themselves to me as I continue on the journey to believing in the element of my life I so often ask them about.