It’s Friday night and I have a hot date lined up…with myself! While some of you reading this might be going “Awww, that’s so sad!” I assure you that it isn’t sad. Dating myself is one of the smartest things I’ve ever done and I highly recommend it!
I’m not actually going anywhere tonight and my “hot date” consists of college and freelance work followed by some beading and then dinner of leftovers and homemade wine. I’ll probably watch one of my favorite Marvel superhero movies like The Avengers, Iron Man (all three are good with me!) Thor (again both good!) or maybe an X-Men flick. I just watched Captain America 2 earlier this week, but otherwise it would be on the list. Again, I can hear some readers muttering things like “That’s kind of pathetic.” But honestly, it’s not.
What IS pathetic is someone settling for someone else who doesn’t actually deserve them because they’re terrified of being alone. Seriously, people, that’s no way to live! I admit that it took me a couple years to become truly comfortable with being alone, but for the most part, I finally am. I think it’s vital that a person be comfortable alone before they even consider sharing themselves with someone else. If you’re not okay on your own then you just end up clinging to the other person and that creates all sorts of relationship issues and the dreaded use of the word “needy!”
My apparently formerly “needy” nature was what ultimately led to me dating myself. It happened almost by accident. I’d been texting with a guy I met on Plenty of Fish and we’d decided to meet up and see the newest Marvel superhero movie. Right after we decided that, he stopped texting me and I never heard from him again. Nonetheless, I decided to put my “big girl panties” on along with a nice summer dress and head out to the movie solo. I’d foolishly hoped he’d still show up, but he didn’t and I’ll never know why. I can only assume I was overly enthusiastic about the date, that translated to the dreaded “needy” and he was scared off. Regardless, that was the first time I was stood up and the first time I saw a movie on my own. Both were life-changing experiences!
Before I go any further, I will admit that yes, I’ve been on just about every online dating site there is. I’ve been on OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Zoosk, Fitness Singles, Match, and even E-Harmony. I have plenty to say about my experiences with online dating websites but I’ll save that for a future post entitled “Online dating turned me into a bitter old hag!” or something along those lines 😉
Moving on! Being stood up was actually the best thing that ever happened to me because I discovered that hey, it’s pretty awesome going to movies alone! I can sit wherever I want, however I want, laugh loudly at the funny parts, cry at the sad parts, and most importantly, accidentally drop popcorn down my shirt and fetch it without some guy next to me thinking I’m coming on to him. During Marvel superhero movies, I’ve been known to giggle, fidget, hoot, clap, guffaw and yes, snort! Now that I’ve admitted I do all that, it’s possible that a man will never ask me out again, but that’s his loss, not mine.
From seeing movies alone I progressed to going to dinner alone and all that led to me eventually feeling more content when I took my trips to New England alone. I’ve had people tell me that I’m brave for doing so much alone and that they could never do it, but honestly, if I can do it, anyone can.
I’m not saying that I believe that humans are meant to be solitary beings. I think we all deserve that special someone who understands who we are as an individual and who loves every quirk, twitch, and snort about us. What I am saying is that we should never settle for someone we know is wrong for us just to keep from being alone. Loving and knowing yourself is the most important thing you can do for any type of relationship. Dating yourself is important too because it means you can snarf an entire piece of chocolate cake for dessert at a restaurant and not worry what your date thinks, even when the server looks at you funny 😉