I’m never truly alone when I sleep in my bedroom because Jazzmin’s bed is on the floor and she’s usually curled in a ball, snoring away by 8 p.m., whether I’m in bed or not. Before I adopted Jazzmin, one or both of my cats would sleep with me on the bed but now only Owl does occasionally because Aviendha is content in Jordan’s room.
Aside from furry, four-legged companions, I’ve been sleeping alone in my bed since before I moved out of my ex husband’s house. For a while I slept on one side of the bed but now I happily sleep smack dab in the middle. About a month ago, I stopped sleeping without companionship in my bed…at least on the nights when I have my daughters. Jaycie used to sleep in my bed one or two of the nights I had her but now she sleeps in my bed every night she and her sister are at my house. I didn’t let her sleep with me when I was sick recently but otherwise, she’s my snuggle bug.
Jaycie is seven year’s old and has her own bedroom with a comfortable bed, tons of toys and shelves of stuffed animals. She will sleep in there if I tell her to but why should I tell her to? I’m certain that eventually she’ll want to go back into her room and have her own space. Children grow up far too fast and I dearly miss the days when both my girls were babies and we’d nap together.
I’ve asked Jaycie many times why she likes sleeping with me and her final, definite answer is that she doesn’t like to sleep alone. My house isn’t very big and all three bedrooms are close to each other at the end of the hall so it isn’t as though she’s a wing away from her sister and I, but if she says she’s lonely, I believe her.
While it’s nice having another warm body in bed with me, it has its share of hazards. I’m often getting elbowed in the back of the head and shoulders, kicked, robbed of covers and have plucked a stuffed animal out from under me on more than one occasion. But I happily put up with it all because she’s my daughter, my sunshine and my sweetness.
My bed is so big that I still get to sleep smack dab in the middle with plenty of room for Jaycie to sleep next to me. Would I consider booting her from my bed so a man can sleep with me? Not a chance. There will come a day when she won’t be sleeping with me anymore and that will change things but for the present, this is how things are. When I have my girls they are my focus and the most important part of my life. I will never allow them to feel that they’ve been replaced in my heart by anyone else. I do realize that such a choice isn’t desirable for all single mothers but it’s the choice I’ve made for myself and my daughters.